Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Vests Are So Not In Right Now: Bulletproof Polos

January 23, 2012 / bulletproof, bullets, fashion first safety second, guns, i think we can all agree my life isn't worth $3500, i'll take my chances, iffy, pass, shirt, stopping things, styling and profiling or whatever, sure why not, why's gw always wearing the same shirt?

bulletproof-polo.jpg

Look out your kitchen window. Your patio furniture is all wrecked to shit, isn't it? I know, that last BBQ of yours got out of hand. Shots were fired. Enter the $3,500 bulletproof polo from Miguel Caballero's Black Label Collection, just the thing you need to protect your neck* while flippin' burgs or refilling the beer cooler. It may look like a regular-ass polo, but oh no -- underneath that 100% cotton exterior comes three different levels of bullet protection. Me? I want the one that can stop a cannonball.

OPTION IIA: 9mm / 40 Smith and Wesson FMJ

OPTION II: 9mm / .357 Magnum / 38 Super / Mini Uzi submachine gun
OPTION IIIA: Uzi machine gun / MP5,MP9 submachine gun / 44 Magnum SJHP / Stab-proof

Haha -- there's even a stab-proof option! Unfortunately, all of them will only stop bullets from the most amateur of assassins. I've played Counter-Strike folks, I only aim for the head. "No you don't." Okay so maybe I flashbanged my whole team and got us all killed.

*Protection actually starts below the neck.

Product Site
via
Polo Shirt Will Also Stop Bullets [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Jess, who's holding out for a bulletproof dress.

  •
    $650 iPhone Case Can Allegedly Stop .50-Caliber Round
    April 17, 2012
    This is a $650 bulletproof iPhone case from Japanese manufacturer Marudai that can allegedly stop a .50-caliber round (but only from the rear). Unfortunately there's no PROOF it can stop a .50-caliber round, since they didn't bother making a video. So you're gonna just have t... / Continue →
  • Questionable: The Bulletproof Clipboard
    April 14, 2011
    This is a 3-pound, $45 bulletproof clipboard from ThinkGeek. It's questionable for a number of reasons. 1) nobody but the lady administering my driving test uses a clipboard anymore and even she knows a bulletproof version isn't do her any good because I threatened to stab he... / Continue →
  • Questionable: This Bulletproof Pocket Square
    December 28, 2009
    "The Damned" is a $136 piece of bulletproof fabric that was designed to go in your jacket pocket and protect your heart from being penetrated by a bullet. Clever, Mr. Bond, but I only trust my heart to a full flak jacket (and Lipitor). Per a company spokesperson who obviously... / Continue →
There are Comments
  • RDarker

    Even bullets cannot stop this douche.

  • For the combat (conscious) guy who simultaneously wants to look like a douche.

  • Monochromatyczny Wojownik

    i smell Hoff... Husselhoff !!

  • jaime_arg

    What are they made of, mithril? 
    I think I saw the manufacturer on some TV show once.

  • All dude needs is a leather jacket and its the Hoff from Knight Rider!

  • Obviously directed towards people with no knowledge of bullet protection, what's the supposed diff between protection from 9mm rounds and "mini Uzi submachine gun"?
    It can take multiple hits from 9mm and not give out? Or is it action movie proof?

  • Is this the same company that makes the bulletproof suits?

  • Slurm_Cola

    If I pop the collar will this offer protection to my neck as well, bro?

  • no mmz

blog comments powered by Disqus