North pole, we have a problem.
This is a video of some clumsy-ass Santa impersonator attempting to rappel down to his throne at a Florida mall when his fake beard gets caught on his harness, tearing it and his Santa hat off and ruining Christmas for countless children. All this while the announcer lady tries distracting everyone by singing a horrible rendition of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. INTERNET GOLD.
About halfway down, "Santa" tore off the beard and attached hat, revealing himself to be a simple helper and not the actual jolly old elf himself. He vigorously bounced up and down trying to work the beard through the tangle, making it safely to the mall floor after a few minutes.
Gardens Mall reports that the helper is a professional rope climber who did the stunt for free. He did a run-through without a hitch, but sans beard, mall officials say. He left quickly afterward and wishes to remain anonymous.
Ahahahhahahhaha, good luck staying anonymous -- YOU'RE F***ING SANTA CLAUS! Man, next year I hope they try shooting him out of a cannon.
Hit the jump for the MOMMY...WHY'D HIS BEARD COME OFF? in action.