Pancake Plate With Integrated Syrup Reservoir
The Pancake Plate is an ever-so-slightly tilted plate with a reservoir at the bottom to collect all the syrup runoff from your flappyjacks. Unfortunately, a set of two costs $45, making it far more economical TO EAT F***ING WAFFLES. They have natural syrup reservoirs built into the design. It's like, which would you rather eat ice cream out of: a bowl, or a stranger's belly button? Exactly, always choose the naval. You never know, it might belong to a pretty lady! "I got a fat man." Yeah well you also got lint in your beard.
Thanks to Clark, who eats breakfast the depressing way: in the car on the way to work.