This is a picture of a $3-million, 328-foot wind turbine in North Ayrshire, Scotland trying to cope with hurricane winds. Obviously, it coped poorly. Like me in high school getting called a dork all the time. Which brings up an important topic: bullying. Listen up kids, I want you to remember this: no matter what mean things kids might say to you in school (and they'll try to say the worst), just know that in six to ten years they'll ask to be your friend on Facebook and you'll look through their pictures and see they're fat as shit and living in squalor with like three ugly babies. Trust me. You know what I'm talking about, Angela W.! You called me a four-eyed freak sophomore year and now look at you -- breathing heavy with two cross-eyed kids from some redneck!
Thanks to Bryan, who agrees the only thing better than green energy is black magic. I brought a run-over squirrel back to life!