Now I know what you're wondering, "WTF SORT OF
SORCERY SHITTERY IS THIS?" And I'm right there with you. As a matter of fact, we're holding hands. No, no we're not. But I am trying to inconspicuously touch your butt with my leg. "You're that guy from the bus!" FUFUFUFUUUUUUUU!! *pulling wire to get off at next stop*
BEHRINGER, award-winning innovator of affordable professional audio and music equipment, is excited to announce the launch of the Eurosound consumer electronics brand -- concert quality sound at an amazing value. To celebrate the launch, BEHRINGER will unveil the iNuke Boom, the loudest iPod® and iPhone® dock you've ever heard at CES 2012. The $29,999.99 monster speaker system measures a whopping 8 feet wide by 4 feet tall, weighs over 700 pounds and pumps out over 10,000 Watts of power.
First of all, nobody wants or needs an 8' x 4', 700-lb boombox. You'll never be able to carry that on one shoulder. Secondly, why the f*** did you name the new brand Eurosound? Is there something special about the sound in Europe? Because one time I backpacked across the entire country and it sounded pretty normal to me. "Europe isn't a country." And I don't own a backpack!
Thanks to Princess Yumyum, who will help me build you a custom giant iPhone dock that fits your house perfectly AND FOR THE HALF THE PRICE. Jk jk, but we will steal everything that isn't bolted down and make out in your shower (if it's a walk-in).