Blue balls and beer -- story of my life, bro.
Women: they'll tear your heart out, spit in the hole, then not respond to the voicemails you leave about how much you still love her and want to work things out just so you can stay overnight one more time and steal a bunch of her underwear in retribution. Amirite, guys?! *all the guys leaving* Ya'll are lying to yourselves! Eric Smith was just about to propose to his special lil lady with a custom-designed engagement ring when he found out she was cheating on him. So he did what any self respecting Spartan would do: sold the ring on eBay and spent the proceeds having a custom suit of Master Chief armor built.
This wasn't just any costume shop suit; in fact Smith had been thinking about the ideal suit of armor for a long time but had expected to defer the purchase until later. An artist out of Detroit built him a 40-pound dark green suit made out of carbon fiber and steel. The helmet complete with an orange visor and LED's came from a master Stormtooper builder out of the Philippines. We didn't even know there was a master Stormtrooper builder in the Philippines, so clearly Smith did his homework.
Good lookin', Eric, I imagine your heart is much better protected now. Get it? Because of the whole armor thing! But seriously, she clearly wasn't worthy of a real Spartan anyways. I'm sure there are plenty of other women out there that will appreciate your new...look. Amirite, ladies? LADIES? *plays applause on boombox* Awh yeah -- go get em, Chief!
Thanks to Krame, who says he should have opted for a full suit of Shredder armor instead. Hey -- a man's choice of armor after a breakup is his own personal decision.