Just Like Turtles!: The Mobile Zombie Safehouse
Note: Full-res, easier-to-read version of the pamphlet HERE.
This is the Vagabond, a conceptual mobile shelter and winner of Bustler's annual Zombie Apocalypse Safe House competition. It's based on the shell of an armadillo and NOT a turtle, which would have been an even winning-er design. Back me up, Michelangelo. "Pass the bong." *nervous laughter* You mean this VASE?
It has reflective camouflage on the outside, allowing it to blend in with its environment, and it features photovoltaic cells that can provide heat, boil water, and charge electronic devices.
The Vagabond also has a wind-powered ventilator, a water filtration system, and an iPhone-compatible tracking device. It doesn't move under its own power, but it folds up, slinky-style, so you can carry it as a backpack.
I mean, the concept of a mobile shelter is cool, I'm just not sure how I'd feel with nothing between me and the zombies but a lightweight shell. Actually, I do know how I'd feel: like a sitting duck. And speaking of sitting ducks -- you ever seen a squatting goose before? I have. MOTHER Goose. She was pissing in the woods like a savage!
Thanks to Jessi, Melissa, noemail, and Andy, who agree the safest house during the zombie apocalypse is God's house. Get it? Like a church -- holy water kills zombies! "You're thinking of vampires." Shhhhhhhhh -- I don't like a lot of readers.