Evil Scientists Engineer Deadlier Version Of Bird Flu
Because what good is science if you can't use it to kill a whole lot of people, evil doctors have successfully genetically modified the avian flu to be much, much deadlier. *coughing* OH GOD I HAVE IT, DON'T I?! I have been peeing a lot of blood...
Inside a Dutch medical facility is a potentially devastating weapon that could kill millions: A genetically modified version of the H5N1 bird flu, engineered to be easily transmitted among ferrets. And the researchers who figured out how to do it would like to share their work with the world.
This is a terrifying prospect...Virologists have thought avian flu could not adapt to mammals easily because it would require drastic changes to the virus' genetic makeup, which might make it unable to reproduce. But Fouchier says his work proves this is untrue.
"I can't think of another pathogenic organism that is as scary as this one," [National Security Advisory Board on Biosecurity chair Paul] Keim told Science Insider. "I don't think anthrax is scary at all compared to this."
Wonderful news, really. I mean, why SHOULDN'T scientists be trying to engineer an avian flu that's easily transmittable to mammals? It just makes good sense. Cure cancer? Maybe later, we're still trying to figure out how to give humans cat AIDS.
Thanks to Drew, Tony, krakow and Robina, who agree scientists should be less time creating a deadlier bird flu and more time reverse-engineering dinosaurs from chickens. Amen to that!