Of Course: Diamond-Dispensing ATMs

Seen here looking suspiciously like it was made out of foam-board and an old computer monitor, a diamond and jewel dispensing ATM participates (possibly unwillingly -- ATMs are hard to read sometimes) in a ribbon-cutting ceremony in India. Although, truthfully, they're not actually ATMs, just jewelry vending machines. OLD IDEA IS OLD -- 25¢ rings.

The Gitanjali Group, which claims to be the world's biggest integrated manufacturer of branded jewelry, opened the machine in a luxury shopping mall in the city Sunday and said that it already served a "substantial number of customers."

With prices ranging from 1,000 rupees ($20.17) to 30,000 rupees, customers can pay by cash or credit card for products ranging from gold coins etched with an image of Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, to diamond-studded pendants in the shape of a swastika, which in India is an ancient religious symbol of unity.

So I guess jewelry-dispensing ATMs ($20 to $600? That...doesn't sound like very quality jewelry) are the new gold-dispensing ATMs. Me? I'm this year's knowledge-dispensing ATM. Just kidding, but for a quarter I will tell you a secret. "Fine." I don't like olives. "That's not a secret!" ...Because I've eaten one that's been between another man's buttcheeks. College, amirite?! "Absolutely f***ing not." Right.

World's First Diamond-Dispensing ATM Launches in India [foxnews]

Thanks to Lauren, who doesn't buy jewelry, jewelry is bought for her. Oh man, I saved up like $220 to buy a highschool girlfriend a necklace from Tiffany & Co. and then spent it on an R/C car instead and called her to break up and told her it was because I was moving out of town even though we both knew it was because her eyes were too far apart.

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