Real Life Smurf Creepier Than Anticipated
Note: Slightly larger version HERE, but it's a Smurf -- they're supposed to be small!
Ever wondered what a Smurf might look like in real life? Well fear not you f***ing lunatic, because artist Nate Hallinan is on the job. Per 'damn Nate gave this a lot of thought':
The Smurf is actually the result of a symbiotic relationship between two organisms. We believe that Smurfs put their 'embryos' in the button of a developing mushroom. From a distance, Smurfs seem like they are wearing a hat and pants but as you can see this is a fallacy. The fungus provides camouflage and protective epidermal layers for the creature, while the creature provides nutrients and mobility for the spreading of spores.
Smurfs are believed to be a hunter gatherer society. As you can see, this little guy is returning from a successful venture. It is generally difficult to spot a Smurf; they are very apprehensive and cunning. Sadly though, it is rumored that they are hunted for their medicinal properties. It's hard to determine but it is thought that there are not many colonies of Smurf left.
Now I'm not saying this is the proof I've been looking for that Master Splinter infiltrated Smurfville and banged Smurfette, but I didn't just write an exposé for National Geographic called 'Master Smurfer: Ninja Lovechild' for no reason, now did I? I did not. I'm honing my erotic fan fiction.
Thanks to Patrick, who told me on the school bus if you lick a Smurf you get high. And that, my friends, is how I got my tongue bitten by a rat he'd spraypainted blue.
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