A video-game addicted lawyer, so hooked he couldn't even manage to call clients back, was recently suspended from lawyering for three years while he struggles to not be such a f***ing failure at life.
Mathew Eshelman, 43, retreated into the world of video games to fight job stress and problems at home, a state disciplinary panel concluded.
"When attempting to conduct his own law practice, he sought refuge from his problems by playing video and computer games with an even greater intensity. He described himself as `addicted' to the games," lawyer Howell K. Rosenberg wrote in the 89-page report.
The Pennsylvania Supreme Court Disciplinary Board's report detailed 17 cases that Eshelman mishandled. They mostly involved bankruptcy, divorce and debt collection cases. He missed deadlines, lost track of client funds and once knowingly lied in a divorce filing , all while ignoring calls from increasingly angry clients.
WOW. That is like, the LAST guy I would ever want handling my case. And that's saying a lot because one time I tried defending myself.
Baliff: GW -- do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
GW: Seriously, HELP ME GOD.
Prosecution: Yeaaaaaaah, let's go ahead and throw the book at this guy.
Thanks to Sally (from the valley?!), who's convinced her last lawyer was addicted to Twilight and tried to blame her case on vampires. Oh that's bad.