"...he was here a minute ago."
When you go how do you want your body finished off? I used to want to be shot out of a cannon but now I'm thinking I wanna be fed to sharks to kick off Shark Week one year. Pretty cool, right? "Whatever, just as long as you're dead." Damn you know how to make a guy feel good! You should consider hookin'. Enter alkaline hydrolysis: a means of dissolving a body with pressure and a strong alkaline. It's not a new concept (links to an old Geekologie article on the same subject so you look stupid when you start yelling, "this shit is f***in' old news, homey!" in the comments), just one that's gaining
steam ashes with the environmental crowd since one was recently installed in a Florida funeral home. Florida: unsurprisingly on top of funeral home technology.
The makers claim the process produces a third less greenhouse gas than cremation, uses a seventh of the energy, and allows for the complete separation of dental amalgam for safe disposal.
The system works by submerging the body in a solution of water and potassium hydroxide which is pressurised to 10 atmospheres and heated to 180C for between two-and-a-half and three hours.
Body tissue is dissolved and the liquid poured into the municipal water system. Mr Sullivan, a biochemist by training, says tests have proven the effluent is sterile and contains no DNA, and poses no environmental risk.
The bones are then removed from the unit and processed in a "cremulator", the same machine that is used to crush bone fragments following cremation into ash. Metals including mercury and artificial joints and implants are safely recovered.
"Body tissue is dissolved and the liquid is poured into the municipal water system." Haha -- I guarantee people are gonna freak out about that. Also, if they found out how often I pee in the sink. "How often do you pee in the sink, GW?" Never -- I save it in bags and pour it directly into the water tower when I'm up there tagging.
Hit the jump for a video demonstration day in the life of a body dissolver.
New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home [bbcnews] (with a couple other videos)
Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who pointed out he's feeling souper and had me roffeling for minutes straight.