It's A Sad Day: Ninja Turtles Rob A Wendy's
According to Police in Rib Mountain (NOT McRib Mountain, which only exists in your most delicious and gassiest dreams), Wisconsin, a man with a ninja turtle mask like the one pictured robbed a Wendy's fast food restaurant with a firearm, tying up two employees and making off with an undisclosed amount of loot (and possible dipping sauces). No word if he got a chili finger and Frosty to go, but I doubt it since he probably headed straight for a pizzeria afterward. Speaking of -- is anybody else surprised it was Raphael and not Michelangelo? Or WAS it Michelangelo but wearing a Raphael mask? Neither, it was a "stocky guy" in a hoody. *shaking fist* KRAAAAAAAAAAANG!
Thanks to i, who agrees Master Splinter taught them better than this.