I Will Literally Do ANYTHING Before Actual Work: The Hierarchy Of Digital Distractions
Note: Full-res version HERE because one digital distraction you don't need is cyborg eyeballs because yours popped out squinting too damn hard.
Maslow's David McCandless' (damn bro, buy a McLighter or something, shit!) hierarchy of digital distractions. The higher on the pyramid the distraction, the more so it is. *watches cat video* No lie, I will drop anything to watch f***ing cat videos on Youtube. This includes a Powerpoint presentation to my company's board of directors.
So, ladies and gentlemen -- as you can see from this graph I created by deleting the axises off another graph I found online, if we maintain our current marketing strategy we can expect an almost 15% increase in sales by the end of the quarter. Next slide. HOLY SHIT -- IT'S FAT CAT ON AN UNDERWATER TREADMILL!! You guys seen this one before? It is like, THE tits. OMG -- look at him go. "You're fired." More of a dog crowd, huh? No worries, I've got those too. Next slide.
Thanks to freemason, who refused to let me in the lodge even though I told him I've killed a moose before.