For Sale: One Egg Of Silence 'Personal Office' (Read: Private Play-With-Yourself Chamber)

August 10, 2011


Note: Full-res version of the entire Craigslist ad with complete humorous description HERE since the sun (and Craigslist ads) don't shine forever.

This is a humorous Craigslist ad for a $3,000 'Egg of Silence' personal office. When you strip away the custom paint job, it's basically a used masturbation chamber. Some ad highlights (but click HERE to read the whole thing, it's all pretty good):

It is for the brave soul who would seek to shut out reality in order to quest for his/her true cyber destiny. It is for a person who knows that the rest of the world will believe that you are wiling away the hours plumbing the depths of every reason that parental controls had to be devised. It is for a person who knows that the rest of your family will believe that you will (someday)emerge from the Egg of Solitude and that when you do you will be hairy-palmed, blind, and with your face stuck that way. You know but you don't care because it is easier for them to believe this than for them to digest the truth. You are on a quest. Your Destiny Awaits.

They will not understand. They will say, "Get a job!". They will say, "Get a girlfriend!". They will say,"Where the hell have you been?". They will say, "Holy Crap - Take a shower!". They will say, "My name is on the internet account, asshole. If the FBI comes knocking I'm gonna sing like a canary. I'm not going down for you".

The Egg of Solitude was originally part of a Hospital Biomedical Research Lab. It was converted into a personal office by a visionary who was before his time. It was before the LCD flat screen., before the lap dance even. He was handicapped by the technology of his day but was not thwarted. He built it. The Universe of One.

Now, I know what you're all thinking: "Oh my God -- I actually NEED that." Haha, too bad suckers -- THE EGG OF SILENCE IS MINE!" *hot-wires neighbor's truck, backs into light pole, escapes on bicycle*

Craigslist Ad

Thanks to Pacotron, who I don't even want to know what the hell he was searching for when he found this thing.

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