Honey, I'm sorry, but I don't even feel comfortable making love with those bottoms in the same room as me. Created by Pale Horse Design and sold by Iron Fist Clothing each matched bikini set ($30) is sure to shrink any man's turtle at the beach even smaller than it already is (the water's cold, God!). Because if I know women (and I know women), there's one thing they're looking for when shopping for a new swimsuit: A BIKINI THAT'LL MAKE THEIR PRIVATES LOOK LIKE A F***ING MONSTER. *develops body-image issue*
Thanks to Claire, who agrees topless is the new bikini.