Jello Gelatin: Soon Made With More Humans
Jello wrestling: it's what bros do.
Sure I could have gone with two girls Jello wrestling but then 1. I'd get called sexist and 2. your coworkers wouldn't think you were reading a gay fraternity sports site, and what's the fun in that? Now, I assume most of you know this, but gelatin is derived from the boiled collagen from animal skin and bones. Almost half of gelatin production comes from pig skin, with the other half being equal parts boiled bones and bovine hides. Mmmmmm. But now scientists are gonna make that shit from humans.
Broken down, it's just a mixture of peptides and proteins. But it's still derived from animals, which means there is a risk, however slight, that it could provoke immune system responses in humans or carry infectious diseases. Moreover, animal gelatin can be inconsistent from batch to batch...And it's not vegetarian.
As such, scientists have tried all kinds of ways to create a better gelatin, and they think they may have found it, right here in us. To create the human-derived gelatin, human genes are inserted into yeast strains that are tuned to produce gelatin in specific, controlled ways. That creates for a more consistent gelatin -- and also a twinge of nausea.
Hey, I'm down. I've actually had human before and it's really not that bad. "You nasty, GW!" *nibbling at scab* Am I? "Yes, as a matter of fact you ar-- WTF IS THAT?!" Oh this? Just a little sunburn skin I've been saving.
Thanks to zombiepartz, who's been eating humans since before it was cool. F***in' hipster zombies.