I can't really tell what I'm looking at, but there's a blue wiener in there somewhere.
21-year old Josh Seater (who, based on his name, may only pee sitting down) peed in one of Portland, Oregon's water reservoirs after a night of drinking, causing the city to flush 7.8M gallons of water out of the system, which seems ridiculous considering it's basically a giant outdoor concrete pool THAT ANY BIRD CAN SHIT AND/OR DIE IN. No lie, if you watch the security camera footage of him doing it you actually see a stray cat come running out of the pond where, at least in my mind, it was actually washing its butthole instead of licking it for once.
Cue a mass dump of water worth $28,500, a loss to which Portland Water Bureau will have to add $7,600 in "disposal fees".
The bureau's administrator, David Shaff, robustly defended the decision to ditch the entire contents. He asked: "Do you want to drink pee?"
Whoa whoa whoa -- do I want to, or would I? Because those are two totally different answers. Jk jk, I'm kinky and I own rubber sheets. Hell, I'd squeeze and drink the juice out of an elephant turd. You know, if I was in a life or death situation. Or at the zoo and dared.
Hit the jump for footage of the pisser and a video news report. Cat comes running out at 0:12.
Bloke pissing in reservoir prompts 8m gallon flush [theregister]
Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who pees where he damn well pleases and doesn't care who drinks it.