'Big Trouble In Little China' screencaps: never not appropriate.
So apparently New Zealand (NOT Polish) truck driver Steven McCormack fell between the cabin and trailer of his rig during an inspection, landing on the nozzle of a compressed air hose, which subsequently pierced a buttcheek (no word on the left or right), blowing his ass up like a balloon at a child's birthday party. Don't worry though, you can laugh because he's okay now.
He said that doctors had told him they were surprised that his skin had not burst, as the compressed air - pumping into his body at 100lb/sq in - had separated fat from muscle.
"I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot.
"I was blowing up like a football... it felt like I had the bends, like in diving. I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon," he told the local newspaper, the Whakatane Beacon.
He said his skin feels "like a pork roast", hard and crackly on the outside but soft underneath.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If it's, "but I wonder if he's as tasty as a pork roast" you are! So here's the plan: you distract him, I'll inject him with a sedative/marinade, then we set his hospital bed on fire. *pushing nurse call-button* Luau in room 214 -- bring grass skirts and coconut bras STAT.
Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, Sara, Ferris and derzulu, who don't ever want that to happen to them. Yeah, me neither. *pretending to not be crouched over bike pump*