Note: Larger version HERE in case you're convinced there's some fine-print that might save your ass (there isn't though is the thing).
This is a handy-dandy flowchart to determine whether or not you're going to be raptured tomorrow. SPOILER: no. Well -- what was your offense? Mine's being on my period. God, sometimes I hate being a woman! *rubbing chest* Meh -- it's not so bad.
"Will You Be Raptured?" Flowchart [peasandcougars]
Handy Flowchart Helps Determine If You'll Die This Weekend [gizmodo]
Thanks to comfort eagle, who's really hoping his wings will save him. I'd still suggest dressing like an angel for good measure.