Enough With The Vampires: Blood Perfume
Because vampires are so hot right now, two guys decided to create a line of perfume based on the four major human blood types (A, B, AB and O) to sell to 'Twilight' fans. Me? I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. Ooooooor with bath salts and aromatic candles. What?! I like to unwind!
While the Milan-based designers concede that Blood Concept may make some squeamish, they maintain that their perfumes have nothing to do with blood lust.
"No splatter, no vampires ..." Zuddas said.
Not so fast.
Merticus, a 32-year-old Atlanta man who self-identifies as a vampire, intends to sample the fragrance line.
A founding member of the Atlanta Vampire Alliance and Vampire Community News, Merticus favors O-positive as his drink of choice. As for which scent he'd prefer to wear -- or detect on a donor -- he's keeping an open mind.
"I find the black cherry, pomegranate and patchouli infusions of B and the raspberry, rose hips, and birch infusions of O equally intriguing," Merticus said via e-mail. "Hopefully I'll be able to sample them in the flesh soon."
I'm not gonna lie, Merticus, that was probably the least frightening interview with a vampire (zing!) I've ever heard. You wax waaaaaay too poetic about rose hips and birch infusions for me to be scared of you. Know what I'm saying? I'm saying if anybody's getting bit in a dark alley it's gonna be you. Then I'm going to trade your fangs to a wizard for a dragon penis!
Thanks to Samantha, who used to wear a perfume made with unicorn tears but stopped after finding out they tell the unicorns really sad stories to make them cry.