Another Vibrating Japanese Facelift Thingy
SHAVE THAT NECK HAIR I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT.
Japanese beauty product manufacturers, thoroughly convinced people actually believe something that jiggles can tone and tighten muscles, are back at it, this time with the 'Facial Lift At Once'. WTF is a Facial Lift At Once? I dunno, but I do know it makes you look you're blowing a lightbulb! High-five, Uncle Fester -- you know what I'm talkin' about!
Just slip the Facial Lift At Once into your mouth once a day for three minutes and you will feel the electric buzzing work on your cheeks, chin, lips, mouth and even nose. The pulsing will come in four different levels of strength and in a complete 360-degree spread, pushing and working on your facial muscles little by little every time.
Not only will this give your face a boost "at once", exercise and training couldn't be easier than with this gadget. All you do is put on the mouth cover, pop it in your mouth and it does the hard work for you! If only running a marathon could be as easy!
Yes, "if only running a marathon could be as easy". Here's an idea -- how about you actually invent the automatic marathon runner INSTEAD OF A STUPID F***ING MOUTH-VIBRATOR?! Oh I'm sorry, am I making too much sense? "You're way beyond making sense, GW -- you're makin' dollas." Haha, I am, aren't I? *shaking money-maker* Keep those singles coming ladies!
Thanks to Gunslinger, who -- you know you're supposed to actually pull the trigger and not just throw them, right?