Apr 5 2011Taint That The Truth!: Length of A Man's Gooch Directly Related To His Fertility


Note: Picture unrelated but by far one of the least offensive things I saw while searching Google images for something appropriate. I'm f***ing scarred, yo.

According to a recent study, the length of a man's taint is directly related to his fertility, with shorter measurements having a significantly greater chance of being infertile. Whew! (Mine's a solid half-marathon)

The dimension in question is not penis or testicle size, but a measurement known as anogenital distance, or AGD.

Men whose AGD is shorter than the median length -- around 2 inches (52 mm) -- have seven times the chance of being sub-fertile as those with a longer AGD, according to a study published on Friday in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives.

That distance, measured from the anus to the underside of the scrotum, is linked to male fertility, including semen volume and sperm count, the study found. The shorter the AGD, the more likely a man was to have a low sperm count.

Wow -- AGD, huh? You learn something new everyday. Unfortunately, like in this case, it's usually something about other dudes' dicks and balls.

Key genital measurement linked to male fertility [reuters]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who's so fertile he can't find a doctor willing to perform a vasectomy for fear of getting everyone in the hospital pregnant during the procedure.

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Reader Comments


@1 I'm hoping you have a small AGD so you cannot reproduce.

I hope I don't reproduce.

Tell that to the chinese and indians

mow mow


I have a small penis

mow mow

that explains all those egyptian kids Closet's responsible for, and for those pants he wears around town

Kind of obvious:

1. The higher the temperature, the less effective the sperm.

2. The shorter the taint, the more nestled the balls are between the legs.

3. The more the ballsack touches the heat of the inner thigh the hotter they get.

So, for guy's with short taints, they need a nut cooler. Simple.

mow mow

This is like saying if you have small hands your cock is small...where do they come up with this bullshit?

@6 WTF are you even talking about?

mow mow

That explains why the fat douchebag got the highest sperm count in Jackass' spermathon..

mow mow

#5 <> me. However, ..he is right about my penis. I make up for it by attempting to stand out on a message board through some lame 'mow mow' bullsh##t, that everyone obviously sees as lame.

mow mow

ok men... i have a mesuring tape... get in the stirups its about to get freaky.....LMAO!

mow mow

That said im going to masturbate now, I just need to find my magnifying glass

mow mow

mow mow

I'm ready to go Nicole!

mow mow

retarded commenter number eight:

Closet has a few children, an egyptian wife and sometimes wears funny pants.

I swear I get a little stupider everyday reading geekologie comments


i said men...LOL!

mow mow

@15 Whatever...you're probably a hideous sea monster anyway. I can't imagine why any attractive woman would come here.

mow mow

this explains why asia has a high population... not! those little wieners are doin work!

mow mow

But doesn't means we cannot date, sea monsters looking girls turn me on

mow mow

I do not think this is true, not because of my 18¨ but because chinese people have small ding dongs and they are about 1/6 of the world´s population

Dearest GW:

I beg you... Please share the IP address of this beyond retarded commenter that insists on trying to ruin your site everyday. Gadgets, gizmos and awesome? That's hardly the case & it's all because of one floating piece of shit that just wont sink. Please post this kids IP address please!!! We'll take care of the rest from there thanks to how easy it is getting someone's information from an IP address

You have this info readily available & I don't see where it says in the rules that you shouldn't post it, so again I beg you. Please take some sort of action, there's plenty of worthy commenters here that deserve something other than neutrality from such abundant, deplorable, ongoing stupidity

Sincerely, your friend naas

@ 20 somebody was calling him out the other day. forget what post but i think they had it

God someone pls repost any credible information on him. I travel, I'm proactive instead of reactive and I have no problem going back to jail

wom wom

I hope Anon takes care of Rancid Dook, he makes the rest of us look bad!

wom wom

@naas I think Rancid Dook doesn;t know who closet nerd is. He doesn't comment very much anymore. Also, if I find out anything about Rancid Dook, I will post it on geekologie

I've yet to see a conversations about taints NOT end up with death threats.

Here's a snipet of a conversation I just had with GW, slightly edited to protect the innocent:


I used to be proud of being a regular geekologie follower. Now I'm embarrassed. Please do something, again I beg you. I can' believe the anticlowns allow like this ongoing defunction knowing that your sponsors depend on advertising to your diminishing readers

Thanks Shelbon, much appreciated. Even our beloved GW is fed up with such repetitive, ongoing annoying stupidity. Someone's got to do something & I'm standing right here, locked and loaded

(btw loaded because I started drinking a 1/2 hr ago and locked because I lost the damn keys)

tss tss... oooo Rancid Dook's in trouble or sumpthin ya know...tss tss....

I should've edited the language from my comment above GW, my apologies for not doing so

GW, didn't you promise an account login a while back? so that you could actually ban people?:

http://www.geekologie.com/2011/03/the_bottle_openercap_collector.php [comment 25]

So, why haven't you finished that?
I'm not mad, just disappointed :(

badnews: my scrotem seems to start on my asshole. maybe 1cm away...
good news, no worries about using my laptop now

at 30: As I understand that request has been forwarded more than once and by many. I patiently await some output and followup, but we cannot forget GW reports to a higher being with his own requests subject to approval before implication. In short, he's trying.

As proof and an example, there's a good chance dook is banned as of now. His silence makes me wonder.

Also just FYI, if you want to link a specific comment from a previous post - click on the number next to the comment (#25 for example) and post the URL from that link. That will bring the comment right to the top of anyone's screen rather than scrolling down

I support the idea of a Login for the website, I think it would stop much of the sh*t going on here. GW is funny and stuff and its a shame to see the comment section ruining the articles. I wonder what are GWs superiors reasons for not implementing this now?

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@ naas - Been a fairly religious GW reader and occasional commenter for years now, and naas you are a consistent on target (and often amusing) shooter. But probably never more so than now. The only redeeming quality of Rancid Dook's posts is that they are prefaced with some nonsensical cautionary gibberish ("mow mow") which alerts me to more gibberish to come, therefore allowing me to breeze right over it like so much scam spam.

Finally (48 hours) time limit to buy.

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LV Bags $ 19.9
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DeeplyTroubled: That was well stated. I feel something needed to be said, things here have gotten so utterly out of hand I couldn't just sit quiet. I hate seeing the comments section ruin the genuinity of this site as you said, especially at the hands of someone like that who clearly has one goal of annoying the shit out of the rest of us.

As a loyal geekologie reader I appreciate your understanding with what I've attempted to accomplish. I'm not always right, I make a fool of myself plenty of times without anyone's help and I miss the daily nonsense/humor we all share with GWs hard work on this 'playground' of a comments section we're privileged to share. While I may come across as a hardass jerk sometimes I can only say I have the best of intentions when it comes to something as bad as that. Again I thank you for understanding. My best interests are in favor of the GW and the 'awesome' this site is more than capable of maintaining.

So is this why black guys have so many kids? You know it to be true

once you go black......

So! I dont get it, according to this target map of the sizes of pines around the world (http://www.targetmap.com/viewer.aspx?reportId=3073) , China is the country with the smallest penis size in the hole world. How come is the most populated country in the world, aren't they supposed to be infertile?

Never thought I'd see the day where the word "Gooch" would be in an article title...

@39 The article is talking about the size of the gooch not the dong these Chinese guys might have small tools but they may be situated well away from there back door thus giving them a bigger gooch and if this article is to be believed better fertility

DVice have half the problem solved ... allow people to comment under their facebook account details or anonymous.

The other half of the problem is to off to filter out any comment that are anonymous.

This way you can choose to just view valid comment and the clowns instantly disappear

@6 now you know why I can't even wear shorts in the summer time
..... just sayin

mow mow

Please don't be angry with me. I hold a self-important, narcissistic attitude about myself. I am far superior to anyone else here. Only my views and opinions matter and everyone should fall in line and follow. This page would be a lot better once everyone understands that you do not matter. I suggest that I be the only person allowed to post comments, that way I am insured to be able to wallow in my own self indulgent vanity. If you do not allow me to rule a public forum I will have you banned.

mow mow

i gotta start commenting more.
these kids can take care of themselves from now on.
i mean my son is turning 3 next thursday, i think its about time he start providing for himself..... just sayin

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great next thing you know the wacko women who start talking about babies on the first date will want to check your taint out as well. im not just a piece of meat... my eyes are up here!

This is really surprising from an evolutionary standpoint when you consider the population's general attraction to extremely short taints.

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