Note: Picture unrelated but by far one of the least offensive things I saw while searching Google images for something appropriate. I'm f***ing scarred, yo.
According to a recent study, the length of a man's taint is directly related to his fertility, with shorter measurements having a significantly greater chance of being infertile. Whew! (Mine's a solid half-marathon)
The dimension in question is not penis or testicle size, but a measurement known as anogenital distance, or AGD.
Men whose AGD is shorter than the median length -- around 2 inches (52 mm) -- have seven times the chance of being sub-fertile as those with a longer AGD, according to a study published on Friday in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives.
That distance, measured from the anus to the underside of the scrotum, is linked to male fertility, including semen volume and sperm count, the study found. The shorter the AGD, the more likely a man was to have a low sperm count.
Wow -- AGD, huh? You learn something new everyday. Unfortunately, like in this case, it's usually something about other dudes' dicks and balls.
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who's so fertile he can't find a doctor willing to perform a vasectomy for fear of getting everyone in the hospital pregnant during the procedure.