The Roller Coaster Of
Love Euthenasia: A Coaster Designed To Kill All Passengers
"Euthanasia Coaster" is a hypothetic euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely -- with elegance and euphoria -- take the life of a human being. Riding the coaster's track, the rider is subjected to a series of intensive motion elements that induce various unique experiences: from euphoria to thrill, and from tunnel vision to loss of consciousness, and, eventually, death. Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful.
Meaningful? How is dying on a roller coaster meaningful? Dying saving kittens from a burning building, now that's meaningful (plus will get you mad play in heaven). Dying trying to jump a previously un-jumped number of buses on a burning bicycle, that's meaningful. Dying on a roller coaster? That's not meaningful, that's not pulling your lap bar down far enough (my brother and I both slid out of The Beast at King's Island and got free season passes!).
Thanks to Dan, who refuses to ride any coaster that doesn't stand a chance of killing him. That's, uh, that's all of them.