Seen here keeping a non-drug using friend's urine just the right temperature before smuggling it into a piss test, magic Coffee Joulies were designed to cool coffee to a drinkable temperature 3x faster, then keep it there 2x longer. Sound like boner pills to me.
Coffee Joulies are stainless steel coffee beans with a special phase change metal inside of them. 'Phase change' just means that it's a metal that goes from solid to liquid and back again, but doing that is a lot of work, and the metal sucks up a substantial amount of heat when it melts. This means that when you drop one of these beans into hot coffee, the bean's insides will melt and the coffee will get cooler.
The melted nugaty centers of those beans will slowly release their pent-up heat back into your coffee after they've melted, helping to keep it from getting all cold and gross. The upshot of all of this phase changing is that Coffee Joulies can cool your coffee down to a comfortable 130 or 140 degrees Fahrenheit three times faster, and then keep it at that temperature for about twice as long.
Sure, why not? The guys that invented them have a Kickstarter page where, instead of just donating money, you can pre-order a set of five magic beans for $40 to help get manufacturing started. Me? I don't need any magic beans -- I like my coffee like I like my nipples: steamy and being blown on.
One more closeup of the 'Jack is jealous' after the jump. Huh? JACK AND THE BEANSTALK YO, GET WITH IT!
Kickstarter Page (to buy your own)
Cream, Sugar and Some Endo-Exothermic Phase Change Material for Your Hot Coffee? [gizmodo]
Giant magic liquid metal beans keep your coffee just right [dvice]
Thanks to Alan, who likes his coffee like he likes his knees after a long run: iced.