Hand Trux Shovel-Hand $#!7 Picker-Upper
I'm not a backhoe you're a backhoe.
The Hand Trux is an $18 piece of molded plastic designed to scoop up dog shit. Plus they make it look like you're wearing Bumblebee's dick on your arm WHICH IS SO IN RIGHT NOW. Also, not wearing bras. Run with it, ladies. Literally -- run.
Turn your tyke into the action figure of his dreams with an ingenious, slip-on shovel that lets him bulldoze through playtime! Ideal for unleashing the joys of backyard building, beach digging and sister teasing. Bring them to the beach for easy scooping and sand-castle building.
Okay, so maybe it's for the sandbox. Which reminds me -- one time in kindergarten I was digging in the sandbox at school and found a cat turd. Except I thought it was a piece of rubber at first. Didn't taste like f***ing rubber, that's for sure!
Thanks to Shannon, who doesn't need a plastic-shovel hand to play at the beach because she brought paddleball. Paddleball?! YOU KNOW I LOVE PADDLEBALL!