Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness: THE MACHETE-SHOOTING SLINGSHOT!!

March 29, 2011


This is a machete-shooting slingshot. Or you could call it a crossbow. Just don't call it a catapult or you might wind up with a machete in your gut. From a general standpoint, it's badass, but from a zombie-apocalypse standpoint it's really not that practical because:

1. it's like six-feet long, making it fairly awkward to tote around during an emergency situation (still not sure what I'm gonna do about my penis)
2. load-time takes several seconds, making it a poor choice for fighting off groups and probably only useful for taking out those antisocial "loner" zombies and/or maiming people running faster than you
3. ammo is super-expensive unless
4. you retrieve every machete after a kill in which case that's a whole lot of pulling machetes out of corpses.

Which brings me to my personal weapon of choice: a sword tied to a rope. Here, I'll demonstrate. You just duck a little bit and then swing it around at neck level like so. See? "That's not a sword, that's a Wiffle-Ball bat." OH I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WANTED THE FULL ZOMBIE TREATMENT. "Your mom won't let have a real sword, will she?" Not until the neighbors are all zombies, no.

Video after the jump, actual shooting goes down at 1:37 and 2:30 if you just want to see the action.


Thanks to Chris, who just prepared for the apocalypse by taping two steak-knives to opposite ends of a broomstick. Killer, brah.

  • Very Nice my brother, Thanks 4 your posting this article "Cara Berhijab Simple"

  • Wow very creative, I like your great designs Cara Berhijab Segi Empat

  • indah

    very creative you clever and great design http://www.remajaupdate.com/

  • Darcy Zahel

    Although human being us the most superior creation of Almighty but human beings also have the type of zombie that is the most dangerous creation and they have been the threat for human being like writing essay service that they have introduced a gun that can secure human being against their war that will not end ever.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post