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Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness: THE MACHETE-SHOOTING SLINGSHOT!!

March 29, 2011 / apocalypse, custom, cutting heads off, dangerous, do not diy, goodness gracious, homemade, kill or be killed, knife, needs automatic feature, plus it looks safe to operate, rubber, shooting things, sure why not, sword, weapons, why didn't i think of that?, you're gonna put an eye out with that thing!, zombies

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This is a machete-shooting slingshot. Or you could call it a crossbow. Just don't call it a catapult or you might wind up with a machete in your gut. From a general standpoint, it's badass, but from a zombie-apocalypse standpoint it's really not that practical because:

1. it's like six-feet long, making it fairly awkward to tote around during an emergency situation (still not sure what I'm gonna do about my penis)
2. load-time takes several seconds, making it a poor choice for fighting off groups and probably only useful for taking out those antisocial "loner" zombies and/or maiming people running faster than you
3. ammo is super-expensive unless
4. you retrieve every machete after a kill in which case that's a whole lot of pulling machetes out of corpses.

Which brings me to my personal weapon of choice: a sword tied to a rope. Here, I'll demonstrate. You just duck a little bit and then swing it around at neck level like so. See? "That's not a sword, that's a Wiffle-Ball bat." OH I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WANTED THE FULL ZOMBIE TREATMENT. "Your mom won't let have a real sword, will she?" Not until the neighbors are all zombies, no.

Video after the jump, actual shooting goes down at 1:37 and 2:30 if you just want to see the action.

Youtube

Thanks to Chris, who just prepared for the apocalypse by taping two steak-knives to opposite ends of a broomstick. Killer, brah.

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