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Hooray? Nay?: Apple Announces The iPad 2

ipad-2.jpg

Well folks, to the surprise of not a single f***ing person, Apple announced the iPad 2 today. Are you going to get one? Kidding, I don't really care, I was just making conversation. BAD CONVERSATION. That's how little I care. The highlights, per Engadget:

  • "Twice as fast" 1GHz dual-core A5 chip
  • Front and rear cameras (rear 720p @ 30fps, front VGA @ 30fps)
  • Graphics performance up to nine times better than on the original iPad
  • Same 10 hour battery life as original
  • Same pricing ($499 for a 16GB WiFi-only iPad 2 up to $829 for a WiFi + 3G 64GB) of HDMI output capable of 1080p (after a $39 dongle)
  • Enlarged speaker grille on back
  • Same 1024 x 768 resolution and IPS LCD screen technology as original
  • gyroscope (but no lollercopter)
  • 33 percent thinner
  • 1.3 pounds (down from 1.5)
  • Personal Hotspot capabilities
  • New operating system iOS 4.3
  • Funky-ass folding covers
  • Starts shipping March 11th
  • COMES IN WHITE FROM DAY ONE

Well, there you have it. And here you have the actual conversation I had with a 16-year old Geekologie Reader while the liveblog was going down (names have been changed so don't bother messaging us):

Iron Man (9:01:34 AM) yo yo yo
The GW (9:02:58 AM): Geekologie Writer to Moonbase Alpha, do you copy?
Iron Man (9:03:25 AM): I copy GW, how's the moon cheese?
The GW (9:03:38 AM): getting more delicious by the day, over
Iron Man (9:04:23 AM): wonderful, bring some back to base...
Iron Man (9:04:33 AM): MOON NACHOS TONIGHT
The GW (9:04:45 AM): TACO NIGHT!
Iron Man (9:05:51 AM): WWWWWOOOOO
The GW (9:07:49 AM): ROCKETSHIPS!
Iron Man (9:12:20 AM): HOLY SHOT
Iron Man (9:12:24 AM): APPLE STORE IS DOWN
Iron Man (9:12:32 AM): NEW SHIT IS ON ITS WAY
....
Iron Man (9:44:22 AM): 15 mins!
Iron Man (9:50:31 AM): Why is there no live stream?
Iron Man (9:56:29 AM): MUST FIND LIVE STREAM
Iron Man (10:00:30 AM): Ladies and gentlemen, our presentation will begin shortly. Please switch devices to silent mode.
Iron Man (10:00:39 AM): DEAR GOD, WHERES THAT LIVE STREAMN
The GW (10:00:57 AM): GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Iron Man (10:01:15 AM): OH GOD
Iron Man (10:01:37 AM): APPLE, Y U NO STREAM
Iron Man (10:03:21 AM): STEVE'S BACK
Iron Man (10:03:24 AM): OMGWTF
Iron Man (10:03:26 AM): BDHJDUJDGHVKUDV
The GW (10:06:05 AM): BOOSH?
The GW (10:06:25 AM): video?
Iron Man (10:06:43 AM): No
Iron Man (10:06:51 AM): probably the closest thing to it
Iron Man (10:06:57 AM): Giz isnt even stream
Iron Man (10:07:39 AM): JEEZ
Iron Man (10:07:47 AM): Y IS NOONE STREAM
The GW (10:16:19 AM): dam they sold 15 million ipads last year
The GW (10:16:20 AM): good god
Iron Man (10:16:58 AM): ha
Iron Man (10:17:07 AM): doctors are using it
Iron Man (10:17:27 AM): iPads are being used to work with Autistic children. This is pretty cool. "We're not curing Autism, but it's helping.
Iron Man (10:18:52 AM): zxmfbDISVfgiozxmvd[fs
Iron Man (10:18:54 AM): }Iyfidygrw
Iron Man (10:18:55 AM): IPAD
Iron Man (10:18:56 AM): @
Iron Man (10:18:57 AM): 2
Iron Man (10:18:57 AM): 2
Iron Man (10:18:58 AM): 2
Iron Man (10:18:58 AM): 2
Iron Man (10:18:58 AM): 2
Iron Man (10:18:59 AM): 2AHHHHH
The GW (10:19:03 AM): ONE ONE ONE
Iron Man (10:19:05 AM): IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH
The GW (10:19:19 AM): THE A5
Iron Man (10:19:31 AM): DUAL CORE CPU
The GW (10:19:41 AM): TWICE AS MANY CORES
Iron Man (10:19:52 AM): 9X AS FAST
Iron Man (10:19:55 AM): GRAPHICS
The GW (10:20:01 AM): GRAFFIX!!
Iron Man (10:20:24 AM): VIDYA CAMERAZZZZ
Iron Man (10:20:44 AM): GYROSCOPE
Iron Man (10:20:58 AM): 33% thinner!
The GW (10:21:05 AM): BITCH NEEDS CHEESBURGERS
Iron Man (10:21:28 AM): AHHAHHAHA TYHERE IT IS
Iron Man (10:21:29 AM): ajfgbs bf78er
Iron Man (10:21:45 AM): ITS THINNER THAN THE iPHONE $
The GW (10:21:53 AM): *smashes iPhone*
Iron Man (10:22:19 AM): IT WEIGHTS LITTLER!
Iron Man (10:22:31 AM): .2 pounds less, to be exact.
Iron Man (10:22:45 AM): THERE IT IS
Iron Man (10:22:48 AM): GOOD GOD
Iron Man (10:22:52 AM): ITS SO DEXY
Iron Man (10:22:53 AM): DTHEJKYG
Iron Man (10:22:55 AM): AHHHHHHHHHH
Iron Man (10:23:07 AM): ITS WHITE
The GW (10:23:17 AM): WHITE
Iron Man (10:23:18 AM): ATT AND VERIZION
The GW (10:23:19 AM): pasty as a mofo
Iron Man (10:23:40 AM): YES
Iron Man (10:23:43 AM): OH GOD YES
Iron Man (10:23:53 AM): Over a month of standby.
Iron Man (10:23:59 AM): A MONTH OF STANDBY
Iron Man (10:24:17 AM): ITS THE SAME F***ING PRICE
Iron Man (10:24:20 AM): OH GOD
Iron Man (10:24:25 AM): SAME PRICE
Iron Man (10:24:29 AM): SAME PRICE
Iron Man (10:24:29 AM): SAME PRICE
Iron Man (10:25:39 AM): MARCH 11!
Iron Man (10:25:45 AM): MARCH THE F***ING ELEVENTH
The GW (10:26:15 AM): NINE DAYS
Iron Man (10:26:39 AM): HDMI VIDEO OUT
Iron Man (10:26:44 AM): HOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The GW (10:26:44 AM): on one foot?
The GW (10:27:05 AM): engadget crashy
Iron Man (10:27:12 AM): I know
Iron Man (10:27:20 AM): RAGE QUIT TO GIZMODO
Iron Man (10:28:32 AM): smart covers?
The GW (10:28:42 AM): I want 3g monthly cost change
Iron Man (10:29:03 AM): MUST DECIDE WHICH ONE GET
Iron Man (10:29:21 AM): It's a flap.
Iron Man (10:29:28 AM): That's pretty unimpressive
The GW (10:29:35 AM): FLAP IS CRAP
Iron Man (10:29:44 AM): OH
Iron Man (10:29:52 AM): IT PUTS IT TO SLEEP AND WAKES IT UP
Iron Man (10:30:01 AM): NOT UNIMPRESSIVE
The GW (10:30:18 AM): PLUS ITS A STAND
Iron Man (10:30:45 AM): I AM IMPRESS
Iron Man (10:30:56 AM): LEATHER
Iron Man (10:32:01 AM): That's a sessy stand
Iron Man (10:32:27 AM): ENGADGET CRASHES AGAIN
The GW (10:32:34 AM): working for me
Iron Man (10:32:40 AM): $69 bucks?
Iron Man (10:32:49 AM): 69?
The GW (10:32:51 AM): little steep there Steve
Iron Man (10:33:20 AM): 4.
Iron Man (10:33:23 AM): POINT
Iron Man (10:33:25 AM): 3.
Iron Man (10:33:25 AM): !
Iron Man (10:33:26 AM): !
Iron Man (10:33:27 AM): !
!

1
Iron Man (10:34:11 AM): improved safari
Iron Man (10:34:30 AM): improved airPlay
Iron Man (10:36:23 AM): PERSONAL HOTSPOT
Iron Man (10:36:26 AM): ITS SIZZLIN
Iron Man (10:37:04 AM): Photo Booth!
The GW (10:37:05 AM) I am currently away from the computer making pancakes.

Official Site
and
The iPad 2 [engadget]

Thanks to everyone who sent this, but I don't live under a rock you know. (It's a fallen tree!)

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