For That 'Chiseled From
Granite Play-Doh' Look: The Ab-Hancer Abdominal Enhancer
The Ab-hancer is an (fl)ab-enhancing product from the same a-holes who brought us the Ass-istant and Tricep-tional fat-shapers (I'm grasping at straws here folks. Literally -- I'm drunk and there's like five of them in this giant green cocktail). I'm not even sure this is a real product. I should rephrase that. I'm hoping it's not even a real product. And not just because if you're really fat you're gonna wind up with a sideways 12-pack, but that's just poor design. Just like the Ass-istant. What good is a product that's supposed to lift and separate my butt-cheeks if if every time I fart it sounds like an air-raid siren going off? Exaaaaactly -- one that's only fun at parties.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, I'M OUT!
The AB Hancer [buzzfeed]