Chinese Knocker Clamp Corset Commercial

March 11, 2011

boob-clamp-corset.jpg

Note: Video possibly NSFW on account of gratuitous melon mashing (no, NOT like Gallagher). Although it is just a commercial so it can't be that bad.

This is a 5:00 commercial for a Chinese corset that cinches a woman's bloobies together with a comical WOOOOOP (but way more laser-y) sound effect. Literally, it's five-straight minutes of that. Which, depending on how you look at it, is either awesome, or you're a woman. Allegedly it can smash titties up two whole cup sizes. Impressive! At least until you can't breathe and pass out. Ooooor poke somebody's eye out with a nipple. WHICH I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF!

Hit the jump for five-straight minutes of boob-binding WTFery.

Youtube
via
Thursday timewaster: Boob clamps will give you gigantic cleavage [shanghaiist]

Thanks to An and Kristen, who don't wear corsets because they understand the importance of lettin' chest-puppies breathe.

  • A corset should make the waist smaller, causing the hips to look bigger in proportion as a side effect. Most people seem to wear them in a way that also emphasizes the bust. There is no way anyone other than yourself will be noticing your hips in anything but a good way, believe me.

  • The word corset came into general use in the English language in 1785. The word was used in The Ladies Magazine to describe a "quilted waistcoat" called un corset by the French. The word was used to differentiate the lighter corset from the heavier stays of the period.

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