STOLEN IDEA WAS STOLEN.
Note: Giant version HERE in case you really need a giant version for some reason (weirdo).
Now I know what you're thinking, "Damn, why can't I have a girlfriend like that?" And the answer, my friend, is the whole package. You don't have it. You don't even have a package that looks like the USPS deliberately smashed has packing peanuts falling out a hole in the bottom. You hear me? YOU'RE A FLAT-RATE ENVELOPE AND ALL THE LADIES KNOW IT!
Thanks to CRIME, who you should never take to dinner BECAUSE HE DOESN'T PAY. *Zing!*