All my teeth have already rotted out because I pass out drunk on the floor somewhere between the kitchen and living room every night without brushing, but that's just part of what makes me so dreamy. Plus I save like $6 a year on floss! But for those of you who still have molars and enjoy that porky-fresh taste in your mouth,
I got a hotdog for ya there's $4.50 bacon toothpaste.
...when it's time to brush your teeth, leave the bacon strips for breakfast and try this Bacon Toothpaste. It's the perfect way to keep your teeth and gums healthy while coating your mouth with the delicious flavor of smoky meat! Each tube contains 2.5 oz of potent paste.
God that sounds disgusting. I'd rather just gargle with Hogwash. Get it?!?! Me neither, my cat just told me to say it. Dammit Smokey you're making me look stupid!
Thanks to Matt, another Matt, STEPHEN H. and mckinzzz, who agree they need to sell pig-bristle brushes to compliment they paste. Okay now you're just getting nasty.