Boy, You Nasty: Pepsi's Plan To Liquify Food
PepsiCo, best known for producing a poor Coke substitute and once owning Taco Bell, has decided purÃ©ed food is the way of the future. Which, funny story, it is not. IT'S A MEAL IN A PILL, YOU MORONS! Jesus, did Willy Wonka teach us nothing?
"We see the emerging opportunity to 'snackify' beverages and 'drinkify' snacks as the next frontier in food and beverage convenience."
Mehmood Khan, a former Mayo Clinic endocrinologist who heads PepsiCo's nutrition group, said in an interview that it's outdated to think that snacks are dry and beverages are wet.
"Consumers don't wake up in the morning and say, 'I'm going to have a whole grain; I want a dairy product,'" Dr. Khan said. "They're looking for combinations of those things." Dr. Khan wouldn't specify what combinations might come next.
That...sounds disgusting. But also -- terribly convenient. So I'm torn. Still, as a guy who can drive a car, talk on the phone, text on another one and eat a hamburger all at the same time -- holy shit how long have I been in this ditch?