Woopsie Daisy: Suicide Bomber Gets Blown Up Prematurely By 'Happy New Year' Text
"Wow, that firework sounded close!"
An aspiring Russian suicide (you'll never make pro!) bomber, believed to be operating with the same jerkoffs that blew up part of the Moscow airport earlier this week, was blown up prematurely on New Years Eve after receiving a text from her wireless provider. [Insert your own 'In Soviet Russia' joke here']
The would-be suicide bomber was planning to detonate a suicide belt bomb near Red Square, a plan that was foiled when her wireless carrier sent her an SMS while she was still at a safe house, setting off the bomb and killing her. The message reportedly wished her a Happy New Years, according to the report, which sourced the info from security forces in Russia. Cell phones are often used as makeshift detonators by terrorist and insurgent groups.
Shocking -- a terrorist that's a failure at life AND death, didn't see that one coming. Yes, yes I did. But only part of a leg.
Thanks to UncleFUJ and I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT CATES ARE, who both have multiple capitals in their names, making them winners in my book.