Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

January 9, 2011 - January 15, 2011 Archives

  • January 14, 2011
    Note: Jump probably NSFW on account of cartoon fantasies coming to life. Anime characters: they're smokin' hot, amirite? WRONG!! THEY'RE ALL LIKE 12 YOU F***ING SICKOS. "Hello, police? Yeah I've got a whole website of perverts here that need your attention. Oh -- and bring... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    This is a functional witch's broom bicycle. If you look under the seat, you can see the broom has actually been rigged to steer the damn thing. Which, no doubt, obviously involved some clever engineering witchcraft. Whatever the case, I think we can all agree the party respo... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    Needs an octtoman. This is a chair shaped like an octopus. I want one, but I'll settle for four if I have to buy a set. But I won't settle for a lobster lounge chair, because that sounds ridiculous. Shark rocker, yes, shrimp stool, no. Also, I'm gonna need mine with a po... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    OMG, Michelin Man joined the navy. I really hope the hat and collar came from an old Halloween costume because otherwise somebody spent waaaaaaaay too much time on their snowman. Me? I've decided not to build one this year. And not just because I moved from D.C. to LA it's ... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    I'm not gonna lie bro, you wouldn't stand a chance at 'The Most Dangerous Game'. Some dipshit moron shot a fox and, having not killed it because he sucks at aiming, decided to try beating it to death with the butt of his rifle. Only thing was, the sly fox wasn't having it. T... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    Orc shits, yo. Don't even BOTHER lighting a match. A couple who enjoy playing World of Warcraft together decided to remodel one of their bathrooms with a fanciful Horde motif. That should sure raise your resale value! My wife and I have been playing World of Warcraft for ne... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    Seen here getting eye-f***ed by Ken Jennings, IBM's supercomputer 'Watson' beat the two most successful Jeopardy contestants to date (Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter) during a practice round before today's taping of the official showdown airing February 14th. Move over butthole-s... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2011
    This is a video of a guy popping a single kernel of popcorn using two of Wicked Lasers' 1W "Lightsaber" lasers. Yeah, and it only takes 60-seconds. WTF MAN?! The movie'll be over before your popcorn's ready! *lathering nips with butter sauce* Hit the jump for a popcorn po... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    Astrology, arguably the most credible of all the sciences (it can predict your future!), has apparently needed a facelift for some time, but, like gravity and plastics taking so long to invent, had managed to fly under the radar. That is, until now. Also, there's a bonus, pre... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    Look for the guy wearing Breathe-Right strips. Just a week after making his do-gooder way around the interwebs, real-life "superhero" Phoenix Jones has had his nose broken by an evil-doer, proving two noteworthy weaknesses: 1) well-placed punches and 2) lack of quick-healing s... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    First panda lips, now Pikachu. What's next? SPOILER: GW working overtime to blast off this planet. Now I know what you're thinking, but no, she won't shock your balls off. And not just because no girl in her right mind (which none are, amirite?!!!!!!11) would ever even CONS... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    For pr0n and Geekologie, yo! Note: Full-res version of the chart HERE for those of you who refuse to admit you need glasses. Ever wonder what the most searched letter on Google is? Of course not, who the f*** searches single letters in the first place? I assume these are al... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    **Satisfaction never guaranteed. This is a video entitled 'Nintendo: A Sad Story'. Which, while definitely sad, is even more disturbing. And as a man who already had to sleep under the bed last night due to suspected ghost activity, and I'll be damned if I have to crawl unde... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    This is the conversation between some giant f***ing asshat (see picture) trolling for "Cali girls" on Craigslist and a potential mate. Which -- I say go for her. Unlimited HJ's, just sayin'! Craigslist Guy Get`s A Phantom Reverse Troll [iambored] Thanks to LiZ, who doesn't ... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    This is a demon-spawnskin rug created by DeviantARTist missmonster. As far as floor coverings go, I think we can all agree it beats the shit out of the other rug in the picture, which is a towel. And speaking of towels -- did I tell you my neighbor that owns the pedovan (link... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    A Youtube user, fed up with how much NASA sucks at getting kids anybody excited about space, made this inspirational video showing them how it's done. It's called 'The Frontier Is Everywhere' and is really just a bunch of pictures and video set to Carl Sagan reading from his b... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    This is a copy of the official termination form of some assistant manager from a Domino's in Whoknows, Orcares, USA. The important part is I happen to know it's one of you. So, yeah -- go ahead and fess up (also, try using your old employee-discount to order me an extra-large... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    I know, I thought it was an x-ray of a dog fart too. Scientists: they're untrustworthy and you have to take everything they say with a grain of salt. Or, in this case, a shard of glass. But allegedly a group of the lab-coated coots have developed a glass that's stronger than... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    Ever wanted to turn a couple cheap box (aka "crack") lighters into a little motorcycle? Me neither. But I have wanted to light the weeds with them before -- and been successful! But if you are one of those DIY'ers with way too much time (and not penises) on your hands, there... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    This is a series of eyeball closeups taken by Suren Manvelyan. Why anybody would want to take a bunch of freaky macro eyeball pictures is beyond me, but I suspect Suren is trying to steal souls. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF POTIONS ARE YOU MIXING, WIZARD?! Hit the jump for a ton mo... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    You think you're so special, don't you? Too bad an an advanced race of aliens have plans to probe Myanus. SO THERE! Seen here looking like something somebody whipped together in under five minutes in Photoshop Microsoft Paint, scientists are developing a plan to probe Uranus... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    As a man(child) who watched a whole family of helmeted tourists tumble down a hill on Segways at Venice Beach last weekend, I was drunk and definitely heckled them. Also, I saw a "street performer" (read: bum) jump onto a pile of broken glass barefooted after collecting $10 in... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    Antimatter my ass, those are UFOs! Scientists, having accidentally pointed a telescope at thunderclouds instead of into outerspace (great job, guys!), discovered that lightning may give off antimatter, effectively explaining the long-running mystery of why getting struck can... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2011
    When I think sexy I think one of two things -- 1. dinosaurs or 2. spray cheese. If I'm feeling really krinky I'll try thinking both at the same time but more often than not it leads to A) hyperventilating B) passing out and C) wet dreams. This is a Simpsons pr0n parody that a... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Of me. Not of him, weirdo. Fine, one of him too. But if you think I'm not gonna put his legs where his arms should go then TOO BAD. Artist Wayne Chisnall went and made a full-scale plastic model of himself, still on the little plastic danglers (SPRUE) and everything. I'm n... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Joints: if you smoke them they make you high. Poles: if you smoke them they make you gay. Ooooooor a lady. Or, in my case, a free spirit. Anyway, some jokers rolled out(!) a doobie-constructing iPhone app (that amazingly wasn't axed by the Apple Gestapo) and got over 25K do... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Because honest-to-goodness laser-vision is still another 40 years out (I've been to the future and seen it -- I just didn't understand the technology), scientists are constantly making incremental steps in that direction. The next little "breakthrough"? Contacts that project ... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    If it makes you guys feel any better, I actually use body wash. As a matter of fact, I just reupped at Target last night. I'd tell you what brand I got but I was drunk and it looks like I accidentally picked up a double-pack of Summer's Eve instead. Just kidding, that's what... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Got some leftover Christmas money burning a hole in your pocket? Check again. Haha, yeah I stole it when we were sitting next to each other. Also, I think I brushed your wiener. That was probably more action than you got in all of 2010 aside, this is Tokyoflash's latest des... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Are you trying to steal the Geekologie font-fade?! In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who keeps abreast (or even abutt) of tech rumors, Apple and Verizon have announced the iPhone 4 is coming to "America's most reliable network" (and best store to drag a child through -- ... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    Seen here in an artist's rendition that we all could have done a better job Photoshopping ourselves, a new laser designed by BAE Systems is nearing commercial viability as a means of blinding pirates and preventing them from using their guns and rocket-launchers to attack ships... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2011
    This is a video of Oliver Taylor (who I think we can all agree looks like an Oliver), who spent his winter break learning how to play the Tetris theme on Link's ocarina ACTUALLY IN OCARINA OF TIME. "You will never get that time back!" aside, he does a pretty amazing job. Exce... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    This is a skull made entirely of McDonalds fries. No word whose skull it is, but I suspect he was French. French -- like the fries! Hit it, Fozzie Bear. "Wocka wocka wocka!" Thanks broseph, nice hat by the way. "Don't call me broseph." Whatever, duder. "I will violate y... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    These videos of the Heinz Automato are from 2007 (OLD!!!!!). I saw them a few years back, but apparently they're making their way around the internets again, so here they are in case you missed them. And, since we're at it -- *cue re-edited GI Joe PSA's*. I posted several di... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    This is little cross-section of Godzilla from what I assume is the back of a Japanese cereal box. As you can see, he has none of what you'd expect to see on the inside. COME ON, THERE SHOULD BE HALF-DIGESTED JAPANESE PEOPLE FLOATING AROUND IN THERE! Also, what the hell are t... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    Intrepid Geekologie Reader Henward has been diligently trying for years to get a personal project posted on Geekologie. At first I ignored his emails because everything he came up with sucked, but then I started ignoring them just to spite him. Finally, he came up with howtog... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    A recent study at Israel's Weizmann Institute of Science indicates that a crying woman may, in fact, reduce a male's testosterone, rendering him little more than a whimpering man-child, incapable of sexual arousal. But what if I'm always the one crying?! We found that merely ... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    This is some sick-ass paper art created by Cheong-ah Hwang. Now I'm not sure if her work qualifies as papercraft or not (since I have no idea what papercraft is), but it does qualify as very f***ing impressive. There's a bunch more after the jump, about half of which are geek... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    Suckle that teat much longer and you're gonna inhale a nipple! Because knowing when to stop doesn't exist in the American business model, Mattel is releasing a series of 'Angry Birds' themed games later this year. This is 'Angry Birds: Knock on Wood', a $15 plastic playset in... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2011
    A $19,000 robotic triceratops that patrols your house taking pictures of would-be burglars: bad idea. A real triceratops with digital cameras taped to its horns taking 3-D pictures of your butt: dream come true. In 2002, TMSUK developed the Banryu ("Guard Dragon") line of m... / Continue →