Now That's How You Sell Refurb Ink Cartridges
Honesty IS the best policy.
As a guy who hides under his desk avoiding his real job and blogging all day, I've always been curious about the life of a product description writer. And thankfully, the writer of a UK-based refurbished ink cartridge retailer has finally provided some much needed insight. Apparently it's not as glamorous as one would expect. Shocking, I know. But I thought I'd still like to give it a go:
Remanufactured HP 300 - (CC640EE) Black
Remanufactured, just for you. Contains 8mL (NOT the Eminem movie) of the highest quality black-market squid ink laundered money can buy (we're actually a prostitution ring). Will print indefinitely without fading, streaking, or turning your fingers black. Can other ink cartridge refurbishers promise that? They could, but that'd make them dirty f***ing liars. One time I printed out nudie pictures of a celebrity with this ink and you'd swear her breasts were 3-D -- that's how good this shit is. Also great for huffing. You know what? I don't even want to sell it anymore -- I'm keeping it all for myself. If you add one to your cart and I'm high enough, I may send you a cartridge, but don't count on it. You CAN count on still being charged though. I'm serious, that's how badass this ink is -- it's worth taking a chance of not even getting to get.
*Printing important documents with this ink makes them legally binding, regardless of signatures.
**Printing 'LOST DOG' signs with this ink will retroactively make your dog not run away in the first place. Does NOT work for cats.
I dunno, I thought it was kinda fun.
Thanks to Colin, who makes his own printer ink out of vegetable oil and herbs. WTF?! Do you even have electricity?