Get an igloo, God!
What, reindeer and elves not doing it for you anymore? Seen here about to ride the Polar Express to Plowtown on a bear wearing a scarf, Santa apparently decided to add himself to the naughty list this year. You krinky, Saint Nick! Which -- you didn't actually mean to leave the switches at my house last year, did you? That's what I was afraid of: sex toys.
Thanks to Sarah, who swears she saw Mrs. Claus getting down with a penguin in somebody's yard this year. NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!