Listen: I used to call myself Captain Awesome (back when I had self esteem) long before some character on Chuck did, and I have the Gmail account registered in 2004 to prove it. And I'm sure I wasn't the first. But is that gonna stop me from suing everybody's asses off? Yes. Plus I'm lazy. Anyway, Oregonian (that's a person from Oregon FYI) Douglas Allen Smith, Jr. decided to legally change his name to Captain Awesome in honor of his favorite television character. Me? Lieutenant Columbo.
The unemployed Eugene cabinet installer says he found it funny [Dr. Devon "Captain Awesome"] Woodcomb's father gave him that nickname because a "poor nickname builds good character."
The former Mr. Smith says he faced a Lane County judge who questioned his seriousness. The judge that granted the request made him swear he wasn't changing his name for fraudulent reasons.
Awesome says that judge also allowed him to sign his name as a right arrow, a smiley face and a left arrow.
He says his bank, however, has refused to accept the signature because it could be forged too easily.
How is two arrows and a smiley face an appropriate signature for "Captain Awesome?" You'd think it would be a little doodle of a superhero or something. Admit it -- ADMIT YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT BEING CAPTAIN AWESOME! *shaking head* Major Mediocre is more like it.
UPDATE: Picture of Captain Awesome, who looks suspiciously like a skinny Kevin Federline wearing a Braves hat over a do-rag, and 100% the opposite of awesome, added after the jump (thanks to atheistgirl, who doesn't even believe in awesome).
Thanks to Enormosaurus and Zero, who don't sign their names as much as burn them into documents with lasers-pens. That's, uh, that's a good way to start a fire.