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BRING IT, 2011! HAAAAAAAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Well folks, it's officially the second to last new year before the apocalypse. Let's go ahead and make it a good one, k? Gosh, looking back, 2010 was filled with so many amazing new experiences! Just kidding, I got drunk at the same bar everyday trying to erase my memory. I think it's finally starting to work! Everybody have fun tonight BUT BE SAFE. Read: get a cab. Also, wrap it up before having sex in the back. The last thing you need is a New Year's baby cartwheeling out of your vagina/your girlfriend's vagina/your wife's vagina/your boyfriend's butt come October. Trust me. You already missed the window to have a child born on my birthday, so you might as well wait till next year. Then the world'll end and it won't matter anyways! And if it doesn't, well, don't come looking to me for child support. I can barely afford my own vaccines and diapers. HAPPY NEW YEAR, SEE YOU IN 2011! (2050 if my time machine works and I decide to murder the future you)

Suck it, 2010 -- let's do this thing!

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