Diiiiiiiiiiisgusting: Bacon-Flavored Fizzy Tablets
Listen: I love puking in my mouth, having it spill out into the hand covering my mouth, then into the other hand at my chin, and ultimately onto the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor as much as the next normal person. That is to say, a lot. But I don't need any bacon-flavored effervescent tablets to do the trick. Do I, booze? That's right -- only you. God I love ya. So agreeable.
If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor. But don't limit yourself to water. These Effervescent Drink Tablets work just as well in milk, juice or soda. Great for making bizarre beverages or slipping into a friend's drink when they're not looking. Each 2-1/4" (5.7 cm) round tin contains about fifteen tablets.
$3.50 scores a tin, which might actually be worth it considering you could secretly replace one of your wife's Alka-Seltzers as a joke. Yes, now that I think about it, I want you to do that and report back to let me know how it went.
Well? Whoa whoa whoa -- hospital?! WTF'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS PREGNANT!! Which -- weird she didn't like it.
Thanks to Matt and Joe B, who both put entire tins in a gallon of whole milk and chugged it. You, sirs, are gods among disgusting eating contest contestants.