Note: It's a two-parter. Second part is after the jump.
Because a day without a Star Wars post is like a day without drinking to forget how hard I suck at life (I could pull a blueberry through a coffee stirrer), here's Star Wars: A New Hope (AKA the first of the three good ones) told entirely in Facebook messages. Now, for those of you who haven't ever seen the movie -- uh, what the hell are you even doing here? Because if you're gathering recon for the jocks so you can all pick on me later you've got another thing coming. Namely, a call from my mom. Just kidding, I fight my own fights. With a sockful of arcade tokens. That's right, it's quickly "game over" for any would-be bullies! Get it -- arcade tokens, "game over"? What? I'm working with what I was given! (I was given shit for brains is the thing)
Hit the jump for the remainder.
Thanks to Rob, who uses Facebook exclusively for plotting revenge on those who have wronged him in the past. OMG -- same here! (Plus making fun of how fat/ugly people have gotten since grade school)