Fighting With Hot Air: In Soviet Russia Army
Tanks Blow Up You You Blow Up Tanks
Inflatable tanks were used in both world wars so this isn't exactly new news but I'm posting it anyway with the hopes Russia sends me some free vodka for the good publicity. So, yeah -- Russia has ordered a boatload of blow-up army vehicles at a cost of almost $3,200 per piece. Tell me -- how much are you currently spending on assault rifles? Because I have a truckful of slingshots AND THEY ARE PRICED TO SELL, RUSKIES!
The purchase has drawn sharp criticism from military analysts, who say the Kremlin should be spending its oil wealth on buying real military hardware rather than rubber copies.
"Inflatable military hardware is most effective in conflict situations when there is a need to confuse the enemy," the daily Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper argued on Tuesday. "But at a time of peace, duping foreign intelligence networks with such expensive toys is a questionable luxury."
The precise number of rubber models ordered by Russia's defence ministry is a military secret, but the inflatable missiles are expected to be ready by the end of next year.
First of all, are other nation's reconnaissance equipment really not capable of differentiating between a blow-up tank and a real one? Slap some metal-detectors on those suckers, yo! Secondly, blow-up tanks are all fun and games until somebody says, "You know what? Let's invade anyway." Then what happens? Exactly, all your blow-up dolls get popped. And when blow-up dolls get popped, my friend, love no longer gets made. "WOW! AMAZING 'MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR' TIE-IN, GW!" Huh? WTF are you talking abo--- oh right, yeah I did that on purpose.
Thanks to Grava and Disposablesteve, who made the decision easy for me. Disposablesteve -- you'll go in first and act as cannon fodder while Grava and I bring up the rear.