Proving that you should never dip your pen in company ink, Jim Heselden died over the weekend after riding a Segway off a cliff and into a river. Jim had purchased the Segway company from inventor Dean Kamen last year. I suspect very foul play.
Police said a witness had reported seeing a man fall over a 30-foot drop into the river near Boston Spa, 140 miles north of London.
"Police were called at 11.40 a.m. yesterday to reports of a man in the River Wharfe, apparently having fallen from the cliffs above," a spokesman told The Daily Mail.
A Segway was recovered from the scene. "At this time we do not believe the death to be suspicious," the spokesman added.
Not suspicious?!?!? If you see your Segway's about to run off a cliff YOU JUMP OFF. No, I'm afraid there was definitely foul play involved here. Detective -- check the man's shoes for Super Glue. Nothing? Damn. And the handle bars? Well, I think it's pretty safe to say he was poisoned.
Rest in peace, Jim.
Thanks to Missouri Matt, Alex, Texico Jones, 43 y/o undead warlock and comfort eagle, who are all smart enough to never use products made by the companies they work for.