I'd Rather Have Split-Ends AND Dandruff: Panasonic's (Killer) Hairwashing Robot
If there's one thing you should never let a robot near, it's your genitals. Followed by your head. Your children are third. But this post is all about #2. And I'm not talkin' dookie, although I may have let a little slip pretending I was in that chair.
Panasonic's hair-washing robot scans each human head three-dimensionally to apply just the right amount of pressure during the shampoo, massage, and rinse phases. It recognizes repeat customers and then applies that person's preferred massage course using its human-like sixteen "fingers." Each arm contains a trio of motors to power swing, press, and massage motions... or to snap your spinal column should you decide to sass.
If you turn your head during the process does it gouge your eyes out? Because I bet it does. I also bet part of my liver the world would end in 2009 which is why my body can't filter alcohol like it used to. I know, I know, I should have done it earlier. Which is why I'm betting the rest of it the Redskins win the Superbowl.
Thanks to Ben, John, 43 y/o undead warlock, Josue and carmine, who, [insert "I said dye job, not die job!" joke here].