Say It Ain't So!: Blobfish May Face Extinction
Seen here looking like a sad-ass Charlie Brown, the blobfish may very well be on its way to extinction. And not just because he needs to get those spots on his lips looked at by a medical professional, but I warned him that blowfish had blown the whole reef.
The depths at which the strange fish lives helps explain its unusual appearance. Due to the enormous pressure, gas bladders become insufficient to stay afloat. Consequently, the blobfish has developed gelatinous flesh with a density less than water.
Floating around suits the blobfish nicely, as it subsists on edible particles carried by currents.
Scientists now fear that overfishing may lead to extinction for the blobfish. Fishermen scraping the bottom of the sea for lucrative catches, such as crab and lobster, often catch the blobfish by mistake, putting tremendous pressure on its isolated population.
Long story short: we need to save the blobfish. Because, like, if it goes extinct, your grandchildren never get to see one. Then we'll find out mermaids dine exclusively on the blobfish and now they're all gonna die because they don't have any chow. Boy will we feel like a bunch of @$$holes! No, no we won't. Somebody'll just harpoon Flipper and we'll all call it a day.
Thanks to GreenBoss, who blames BP for sinking Atlantis.