I Swear To God, If My Chips Get Stuck Again: Japan's New Touchscreen Vending Machines
Japan, best known for freaky sexual fetishes and being hellbent on destroying the planet with robots, is now rolling out these fancy touchscreen vending machines. Hey -- I don't see any panties on that screen!
A new touchscreen machine called the aCure has just been installed in the bustling Shinagawa Station in Tokyo, and it's already been attracting a crowd. Featuring the huge slew of various beverages that salarymen are used to, it doesn't do anything particularly novel. But it sure looks awesome, and it's flashy.
Pfft, you think I won't beat on it just because it has a touchscreen? You're wrong. My Flamin' Hot Cheetos don't drop and that thing's gonna wish it was out of f***ing order! Just sayin', you ever seen a man dropkick a vending machine like a soccer ball before? Well you'll have to wait, because I'm just gonna cry and get my arm stuck in the chute.