I'm gonna stab a Bear! Get it? Cause dude's nickname is Bear. From now on I'm going by Dragonlord aside, this is the official Bear Grylls Survival Series Ultimate Knife by Gerber ($60). I want one. Because, let's face it, there are two kinds of guys in this world: Sissy-boys, and the manly-ass kind that'll drink the shit-juice they just squeezed out of an elephant turd. I strive to be the latter, which is why I've started sifting the cat's litterbox for moist ones. Oh -- think I found a winner! *crunch* False alarm.
Amazon Product Site (shipping November 1st)
Bear Grylls Survival Knife [gizmdoo]
Thanks to Ashley, who puked when she saw the hairball in my mouth.
The Crovel is like the Swiss Army Kite of shovels. "Knife -- not kite, numbnuts." Yeah, whatever. It packs 13 different tools into a single unit (reminds me of my last kegger!). "What tools" you ask? LEMME TELL YA:
Pryer/Nail Remover (hey that's just pa... / Continue →
This is the Sealander, a camping trailer small enough to be towed behind a regular-sized car that, when backed into the water, turns into a lil boat. No word if it has a glass bottom so you can watch mermaids making love in the seaweed below, but probably not considering MERMA... / Continue →
This is the definitive zombie apocalypse survival shotgun. To the untrained eye, it might just look like a shotgun. To the slightly trained eye it might look like a Mossberg 500 Pump-Action Shotgun. But to somebody with f***in' laser-vision, this is the shit you want in your... / Continue →