Awh -- Don't Be So Hard On Yourself, Mario
Relax, they're bad guys, bro. They work for Bowser. They're not even worth burying. God, if I beat myself up every time I stomped an enemy I'd be in the ICU all the f***ing time. And not just because I like the pudding, but I did contact the food distributor and they won't sell to individuals. Long story short: I want you to stab me with this ninja sword. But only deep enough so they keep me over the weekend. Oh shit, wait -- help me install my catheter first. Huh? What's it look like -- it's a McDonald's straw. Now on the count of three I want you to jab it in my penis like a Capri Sun.
Thanks to Allo and Kake, who would have dug up that goomba and stolen his wallet. Damn -- ya'll cold!