Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

August 15, 2010 - August 21, 2010 Archives

  • August 21, 2010
    A giant-ass horned turtle (resembling Bowser) previously thought to be extinct for over 50,000 years may, in fact, have only died out 3,000 years ago. Break out the printing press, it's time to rewrite history books! Just wait till they find a live one. Dozens of bones found... / Continue →
  • August 21, 2010
    So I'm in Manhattan Beach waiting for some wine and cheese festival to begin (because I'm classy as shit free booze) and thought to myself, "self, you should really go the closest bar and write Geekologie articles until the wine starts flowing. You know, get a head start on th... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    #2 like pencils, not #2 like you're gonna go in your jammies when I jump out of your closet tonight. Which I am going to do. You know, or get drunk and pass out on the bus again. I think somebody licked my face last time! Steamy public transportation romance aside, I want n... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    Wow. You guys are almost as good at science as you are spelling. Which is not at all. I'm serious, you're dumb as shit and ought to be ashamed. God knows your parents are. Want to be smarter? You're in luck -- drink this. Haha, ignore the skull & crossbones, that's just ... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    The Snazzy Napper is a real-ass product that, despite the name, isn't really very snazzy (Bedazzle that shit, God!). What it is is a piece of cheap fabric you velcro around your head so you can rest in peace (I'll kill you!) while you travel. Did I mention it has a hole for y... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    Facebook just rolled out an update to their mobile app that allows you to share your current location with friends so they can stalk/kill you. Sweet. Gosh, I sure hope they torture me first! The most worrying aspect of Facebook Places is that you can be checked in by other p... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    Because if you can't trust the overweight pervert hocking dildos behind the counter at your local adult bookstore, who can you trust? Nobody: that's who. Acidcow via Thedailywh.at Thanks to Jerry, who agrees the internet sucks for just about everything except meeting the lov... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    So apparently Warner Bros. is suing the Swiss manufacturer of 'Harry Popper' condoms for copyright infringement because the name's too similar to Harry Potter's. Personally, I don't see it. Wiener magic! Per questionable Google translation: The lawyer of the film Giant, "Ev... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    So there's this Burger King in Times Square called the BK Whopper Bar (you don't even serve booze!) that's selling a 2,520 calorie, $13 Pizza Burger. WTF's a Pizza Burger? The best gotdamn thing you could imagine. Exclusive to NYC's Whopper Bar. Four flame-broiled Whopper® ... / Continue →
  • August 20, 2010
    The KeyTool Keyring Multi-tool isn't just horribly named, it's functional. Combing the usefulness of a large screwdriver, medium screwdriver, small screwdriver, nail file, finger nail cleaner, bottle cap opener, wire cutter and tweezers, the key-sized tool (like yours!) is sur... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    Note: This is only two of several, hit the jump to see all of them. What if historical events had Facebook pages? I'd have a lot more friends, that's what! Psyche, they probably wouldn't even accept my requests. THE BLACK PLAGUE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO BE FRIENDS? WTF?! Oh m... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    This is a video of somebody dressed up like a Stormtrooper and dancing around to Mint Royale's 'Singing In The Rain'. Then two mini stormtroopers drop from the ceiling and join in on the rug-cutting. Did I mention R2-D2 makes a couple cameos? Because that shit happens. What... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    These are pictures from some couple's wedding. Whose? Katie and Aaron's. What's so special about Katie and Aaron? Their wedding ceremony (link NSFW) was officiated entirely by iPad. Why? I dunno, maybe they don't care if it lasts or not. NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. Katie ... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    This is a video of Batman swooping down out of nowhere to abscond with some poor bastard's tacos right at the moment of drive-thru window handoff. The Caped Crusader reduced to taco theft, I never thought I'd see the day. Coming out of the closet with Robin sure, but stealin... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    These are a few Star Wars themed yoga poses because, dammit, a Jedi doesn't stay limber huffing The Force alone. No, they have to actually exercise to stay fit. Except Yoda, he just drinks swamp water and lets internal parasites do all the work (smart thinking, prune). This ... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    A handbag made to look like a little wiener with giant danglies. And if you think there isn't a butthole sewn on the back you have another thing coming! (Namely, a picture of a butthole sewn on the back). I was tickled all shades of pink when I saw this intentionally perve... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    Note: Full-res version HERE in case you think reading the words is gonna help this all make sense. You're gonna be disappointed! At first I didn't even notice the cross on Optimus's head. Now I can't not see it. My God's no robot! Anyway, when I was a kid it didn't take Tr... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2010
    Allegedly this is the world's largest "fixed" barbecue grill. Fixed liked it remains in one spot, not fixed like it got its nuts cut and has to wear a cone. It can cook 1,000 sausages or 500 hamburgers at the same time. Good thing too! (I'm fat you see) It's the brainchild... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    Hell yes, Fangs for the Mammaries. You know what? This really got me thinking -- we should totally start a Geekologie book club! It'll be great! We'll all read the same book for a month, then get together to drink our literary faces off and fight about it. OMG -- how about ... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    This is monster truck golf cart. Or maybe it's more of a fore-wheeler golf cart. See what I did there? I thought you would! Pfft, and your parents said you were slow. I'm serious, they really told me that. Also that you're a virgin. Okay that one I actually believe aside... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    These are two lil munchkins dressed up as R2-D2 and C-3P0 at the recent Star Wars Celebration V. Also seen in the background is their mother, wearing a custom 'Droid Factory' t-shirt. Not sure how I feel about that. The base of the dresses is sewn using New Look pattern # 68... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    Seen here doing things with a yo-yo I never thought possible (haha, no, not making it look cool), Jensen Kimmitt won the 2010 World YoYo contest with this mindblowing 3:26 routine. The only problem is he didn't even walk the dog. Seriously, 3-and-a-half minutes of yoyo actio... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    This used Lasers, Rockets and Aliens chest was recently for sale on eBay. Unfortunately, I was unable to bid on it before the auction ended because I went out and got sloppy was stuck in an important business meeting. A multi-million dollar one. Seriously, one guy even showe... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    According to this dumb-as-f*** ad for tax-preparer FreeTaxUSA.com, paying too much for tax preparation is a lot like an iPad getting blasted with a shotgun. Great analogy, I know. And all along I thought it was like getting bent over an accountant's desk by a man in a green v... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    Amazing Call iPhone 4 stickers are $10 stickers designed to go on the back of your iPhone and make it appear whoever's on the sticker (i.e. God) is constantly calling. Alternatively, the stickers can be placed on the front of your phone to render it useless. Choose Einstein, ... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2010
    Kentucky Fried Cruelty is allegedly testing a new sandwich at select stores. What kind of sandwich? Try "5 layers of fried chicken skin, lumped on a bun and topped with white american cheese and bacon." Mmmm, I can already feel my intestines trying to escape out my butthole.... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Note: This is only only a small portion of the chart, you're gonna need to hit the jump to see it in all it's button-mashing glory. Texting: everybody does it. Some more than others *ahem, little girls!* but everybody does it. Somebody who tells you they've never texted b... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    It might look like this. Ooooor it might look like Charlie Chaplin swinging a cane around like a lightsaber, I have no f***ing clue. What I do know is this is somebody's idea of what The Empire Strikes Back would look like as a silent picture. Are they right? Only time (mac... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Note: Full-res version HERE. With faces like that you lil monsters can't really blame your parents for abandoning you. Just sayin', one time I saw a cat abandon one of its kittens and that thing was cute as shit. I'm talking adorable. I'm not even a crying man but I shed di... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Do people still wear Dr. Martens? I have no idea. I couldn't be more out of touch if I cut off all my fingertips and didn't pay theAT&T bill. There's no phoning home now! Anyway, $135 Hello Kitty Dr. Martens: for the Corpse Bride in your life. Dr. Martens has teamed up wit... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Millionaire English couple Tony and Judie Ellis don't have any children. Or pets. What they do have is a robotic child they built themselves. You, uh, do know that makes you creepy as shit, right? But is that gonna stop me from hitting their rich asses up on Halloween? Hel... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Note: NSFW video is after the jump (because she actually says the f-word). This is a song and music video entitled, 'F*** Me, Ray Bradbury' by Rachel Bloom. It's about some chick who wants to get boned by Ray Bradbury. That alone being enough to make my wiener limp until the... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    *facepalm* Well no shit they didn't grow into watermelons, you probably didn't water them. No fair rigging the experiment! Hit the jump for the entire article (yes, there's more -- and it gets better!), including a though-provoking argument about kids not having fins and scal... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Note: NSFW NSFW NSFW (language) videos are after the jump. This is a video of a guy playing Team Fortress 2 that's so full of rage I'm honestly surprised he didn't puke and pass out. He manages to drop the f-bomb over 200 times in the span of 10-minutes, making him by far the... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    That's not actually him in the picture. That's just a shot I found in my 'chicks in thongs getting struck by lightning' fetish folder online. So yeah, allegedly a 13-year old was struck by lighting at 13:13 on Friday the 13th while attending an air show. Because attending an... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    Yaskawa-kun in an ice cream vending robot currently employed by Tokyo Summerland waterpark. You order via touchscreen, then sit back and watch as Jack in the Box's bastard brother soft-serves your ass a sundae. Oooooor scoops your heart out. Whatever the case, somebody's sti... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    This is a full-scale TIE Interceptor on display at the recent Star Wars Celebration V. Thank God I wasn't there, because I don't care how many Storm Troopers were guarding the thing, my ass would have been in that cockpit PEW PEW PEWing until somebody with a real gun pointed i... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    In case you haven't seen it because you're not a fan of Geekologie on Facebook (and therefore missing out on all the important life-lessons I have to bestow), this was my 29th birthday cake. It's a dinosaur. Specifically, it's a sugar cookie dinosaur. Atop an ice cream cake.... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    This is a custom 'Shoryuken' vanity plate (most definitely this guy's) spotted by Jonah Ray while leaving the Weird Al concert Friday night at the Orange County Fair. Jonah, who's a personal friend, decided it'd be cool to go to the show instead of my birthday party on Friday ... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    Note: I had to cut the picture so it would still be big enough to see click HERE to see the whole, unadulterated version. This is the first in a series of pictures by Flickr user Robotpencil (he'll stab you) that mashup the Smash Bros. and Fight Club universes. As you can see... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    Seen here looking like a sad-ass Charlie Brown, the blobfish may very well be on its way to extinction. And not just because he needs to get those spots on his lips looked at by a medical professional, but I warned him that blowfish had blown the whole reef. The depths at whi... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    Allegedly this is the world's longest active email address. Except it's not because I have the world's longest active email address. Plus tongue. Please send all future death threats to: hey-gw-im-trying-to-contact-you-so-please-return-my-email-and-dont-just-throw-this-away-... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    This is a deleted scene from Return of the Jedi featuring Darth Vader calling to his son from his masturbation chamber (creepy) while Luke finishes building his lightsaber on Tattooine. The scene was viewed at Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando, but will be available for your ... / Continue →
  • August 16, 2010
    Note: I had to cut the graphic to make room for my bulging belly biceps, click HERE to see the whole thing. Just like the little fat boy said so eloquently, "bacon is good for me", and here's the informational graphic to prove it. So bac-on my rotund little friend, but rememb... / Continue →